Went to Camden with a good friend last week for a mooch about. Always enjoy a trip there, mostly for the stall selling the sweet waffles with the chocolate and the cream and the… oh so goooood. Anyway, after driving into London, I got rather frustrated with the amount of unknowns you face in London.

For starters you are driving into a busy, packed city, with a lot of traffic. Many of these vehicles are taxis, limo’s and large luxury vehicles, driven by assholes. This in of itself should be enough of a hazard, however the government has chosen to add a few extra exciting challenges. Firstly, there’s the wierd bus lane fines. Should you, while avoiding the aggressive, psychotic other drivers in the strange, unfamiliar streets  happen to stray into a bus lane, it would become apparent that you are charged 120 quid for the privilege.

Then there was the odd crossing where people walk across the road when the lights are red, they walk across the road when the lights are green, they walk across the road when cars are moving… and then look at you as if they have some right to be there. Have these people been educated in the use of traffic lights. To make matters worse, this junction has yellow hash markings on it, meaning it’s an offence to stop on the junction. So when my exit from the box is blocked by some resident evil style pedestrians, my choice is stay where I am and commit an offence, or run over a pedestrian and commit an offence. Have to admit, running over a pedestrian was tempting.

And what is it with all the “zones”? There’s a congestion zone, ohyes, all very happy with that. What’s a low emition zone? What do signs for “controlled zone” mean? Do I get another fine, what are the restrictions? What is it that’s being controlled, cause it’s certainly not the pedestrians? Just what are with all these meaningless signs and zones?